Iphone photographs

I've been meaning to do a post on this for ages, because I really like the images that the Iphone has turned out. Now the iphone isn't exactly known for its camera. If you are so inclined you can read trillions of scathing reviews about said iPhone here.

But lets not be negative Nigels about the whole thing. I have a few handy hints to getting the most out of your iphone camera, and some photographs to show you so that if after all that I haven't convinced you, well, they should.

1. Photogene - allows you to edit your often colourless grainy images into photographic masterpieces.

Change the exposure, and colour of your pictures. Rotate. Crop. Sharpen. Add effects such as shapes, speech bubbles and sepia. For a couple of quid it is well worth it.

2.Pano - The most amazing app! Allows you to take full panoramic photos and is easy to use, so that when you move onto the next shot, you see the 'ghost' of the previous image at the edge of the camera viewfinder. This means you no longer have any lining up issues. You can have loads of fun with this one, including having several pictures of yourself in the same photograph! (see below) God I'm self obsessed....look it's me! me again! and again!!! Why be content with a simple photograph of yourself, when you and your clones can dominate the frame by clinging to its every oriface?

3. DXP - Not the easiest app to use granted, but once you get the hang of it, it turns out some really good results. This app allows you to double, triple, quadruplely (ahhh!!) expose your images. There are several settings with different effects within this, so it is just up to you to have a bit of a play and find which one suits the image. The free version is enough to be getting on with, and to be honest I haven't felt the need to purchase the other version. But if you are a photography pro then maybe you will.

4. Old Booth - Now this IS worth paying for. Ever been on a train with a friend, you know the kind of journey I mean. It's getting boring, the conversation is wearing thin....never fear!!! Whip this little beauty out and you have inbuilt (or for long as the battery lasts) hours of fun fun fun! Old booth allows you to put the faces of your friends into different hairstyles and clothing. The most fun to be found is changing the gender of the person involved. That always makes for slightly disturbing images. One of the christmas cards kids!

The thing I love about having my camera on my iphone is, is that I use it as a kind of travel journal. I like to photograph the places I have been and what I have seen. I know, I know, I could also use my camera for that too, but somehow it isn't the same. There's nothing quite like whipping out the iphone for a quick unplanned shot of something that takes your fancy.

And with that, I leave you the resulting photos! If you have an Iphone, have a go yourself! If not, let me know what you think of these. Are they good? bad? Does the quality annoy you? are the over-edited?

Well whatever your opinion my critical little cocktail sausages, remember: it's a superior photographer who can make the best of inferior tools. Anyone can take beautiful photos with an expensive Canon. So there.

What will you have on your Gravestone?

Hello and sorry for the lack of posting!
Here are a few piccies from when I visited highgate cemetary the other day. If you are rather morbid and enjoy graveyards like me, then you cannot get any better than Highgate. I really enjoyed wandering around under the trees looking at some of the old overgrown headstones. In fact, I loved it so much that if I was put in charge of tourism for highgate I would definately have its advertising slogan as something like "dead interesting" - Geddit?

There's loads of photo opps as well, so if you're in LDN at a loose end, head on over! You might even catch me looming around the gravestones. I'm the one with the....never mind.

You might even run into a few famous faces as well, there's a couple of them lingering around all dead and everythin'!

I've included one of them below. Now you might miss him, so I'll give you a clue. He's being very understated...and he clearly had some self esteem issues that he hadn't sorted out before he died....












Now all this graveyard stuff got me thinking. Looking around, I noticed that there were a couple of people who had really gone for it with their graves. Highgate is still a working cemetary, so a few of them weren't that old at all, and had gone all 'modern' and arty with their headstone design. Some people had really thought outside the box! (excuse the pun ha ha.)

For some people though, death is a really scary disturbing issue. They like to skirt around the whole taboo area by engraving things like 'not dead, just sleeping' or 'with the angels now' on the gravestones of their loved ones. However, you really have to hand it to this guy. He didn't beat around the bush. He got straight to the point:



Another man obviously wanted to be remembered for something other than what kind of a person he was. But this lofty structure really doesn't hold any clues whatsoever. Not a thing. I'm really very clueles as to what he was getting at:



I love this one below because I really don't think you can just describe a person's life in a single epitaph. This person hasn't. However I think if you used this method to decsribe me it wouldn't be as poetic somehow:



'Laura: McDonalds, dogs, sleeping, bathing, whinging, iphone, never married, no children, nail varnish, hair, untidy, snappy dresser, degree'

Doesn't quite cut it somehow.

That got me thinking. And then I saw this one. Now call me suspicious but it seems like someone may have been using a little artistic licence:


You know what? Once your children and grandchildren have kicked the bucket as well, no one is going to remember who you were. That's right, you'll be forgotten. But here's an antidote to make sure that your grave is always visited, and always generating interest...LIE!

Say you were Grand master Wizard of the Universe or Lord Voldemort of Saturn if it gets the punters in. I think I'll be "Princess Leia, daughter of Padme and Anakin, legendary politician, diplomat, revolutionary and Jedi. Leaves behind devestated husband Hans."

Also, why not take the opportunity to insult someone still living on your inscription? This one is pulling no punches:



That's right, make your last words to your children telling them that you liked one of them better. That's going to cause a few problems isn't it? I'm not being funny Greg, but I really don't think Stacy is going to find consolation in the fact that you love her and Taylor both. You've just said that he was the BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU. ON YOUR GRAVESTONE! It doesn't get any more insulting than that!

Now I leave you to ponder your own words, should you be taken from this cruel world oh so suddenly.

Cheerio!

Halloween

Let the witching hour begin!


ahh Halloween. Minor event here in Blighty, massive 'holiday' in Yankee doodle land! It's the one event where the Christians can really go to town without feeling hypocritical ("Christmas has turned into a shallow consumerist time!! ahhhh!!" Erm...you invented it! You only have yourselves to blame...)

It's Strange, is it not, that in a country where guns are legal and sixteen year olds can be put on death row that kids running screaming from door to door is considered evidence of Lucifer himself. AGHHHHH SO ANGRY...ha anyway, I'm over it.

However, cross a couple of of Oceans (I dropped Geography) and knock on most British people's doors and you're more likely to get a confused stare than any kind of confectionary treat (or lethal injection...you win some you lose some!) The only exception I've found is to be the odd kids party. Oh, and then there's the students who will use ANY excuse to dress up. Over the years my friends and I would concoct a variety of disguises and costumes, competing with one another to see who could be the most contraversial and inventive.

This, dear friends, brings me to my point. GIRLS I'm talking to you! Maybe you can explain something to me. Why is it that so many girls use Halloween to 'advertise'? (ie dress like sl-gs? and I don't mean slugs.) Correct me if I'm wrong but on Halloween most of the fairer sex that I encountered were dressed as something 'sexy' be it Bunny Girl, devil, or witch. There was as little left to the imagination as possible (which is ironic given that it was halloween.) Perhaps I'm subconciously seething with jealousy or I've been reading too much Germaine Greer (see earlier post) but it really pisses me off.

So if this is you, take a leaf out of my book this year girls. If you're going to dress up, be Fun! creative! scary! But for godssake don't go sexy, which shows about as much imagination and depth as a puddle of brown pond water. For those of you who are lacking in imagination, I've got some pictures (see above) and videos for you!
Go as:
Harry Potter (it's ok...no one will think you're a boy!)
Sonic the hedgehog
jedi
Obscure Disney Character

Or alternatively, go as someone who is dead?
This means you can add a certain air of chicness (not to be confused with sexy) to an outfit.
Edie Sedgwick is a good one, or try a 1920s flapper, or even Audrey Hepburn!

So go now my beauties, be creative, fun and interesting, but don't feel the need to use such an innocent American pastime as a vehicle for your sexuality. I say this not because Jesus is angry, but because it bores the shit out of me.

Love!

p.s. Here is a fantastic Tutorial for those who want to get creative with their makeup:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xktMzhBnyd0&feature=player_profilepage#

OR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD3YoJNxCP4

Chicago! Chicago! That toddling town...