Oh...sorry!

Hello Darlings!

Well you may or may not have noticed that I have been sadly absent from the delluge of creativity that is the bloggersphere of late. I'm really sorry. It wasn't my intention to deprive you of my presence, but I have been busy. I'm not saying that other bloggers have nothing else better to do, but rather confessing my blatant inability to prioritise.

Bloggers: People born with the innate ability to prioritise

Anyway, Anyway, Anyway - I have been very busy doing my makeup course, of which I am very nearly finished! I have learned a great deal and we have covered so much! I've learned to shut the eff up and listen, that lining lips symmetrically is tricky and that a wig is only as good as its lace (something that I'd never considered before but stuck out like a sore thumb in the new twilight film)My world has been all hairsprays and powders, bald caps and latex, home made blood (tea, food colouring honey and golden syrup)and hair grips. I have cleaned brushes, sewed in whefts and eaten my own weight in homemade sandwiches.

Here are a few photos of my work: (so far)







That's all for now - hope you likey like XXX

Is Make-up Art?

Illamasqua - The best makeup brand of 2009

I am an educated middle-class twenty something. I am bright and intelligent, but I am also creative ("And Big Headed!" I hear you scream, "Where is this going??") Well, let me explain. In May I am attending a makeup course with a prestigious London school. I am extremely excited about this new turn of events, but some of my friends do not seem to take the same attitiude. Now these friends are from the academia side of the woods, so they are not pre-disposed towards understanding matters of a more creative disposition.

However, after a few "When's the beauty course start? What are the modules? shampooing for beginners?'" type-comments (and after getting tired of changing my underwear all the time because I was laughing so damn hard) I got a bit ruffled. Why do people get so snotty about such things? Why are the more academic disciplines such as theology or physics deemed to be loftier pursuits than prosthetic makeup and airbrushing?

In the recent documentary, The September Issue, Anna Wintour remarked that in the face of her siblings' more established careers in 'hardcore journalism' (my words not hers) her position as Editor of Vogue has been met with ridicule by some members of her family. They see her chosen career in the fashion industry as shallow and unimportant. This brings my main point: I do not think that the practice of makeup artistry is insignificant. Whilst I am biased, I can acknowledge that perhaps a career in the cosmetics industry will not aid important scientific discoveries such as the breakthrough cure for cancer. (but hey, you never know) However, I believe it is important for two main reasons:

1.) In your average advertising campaign, the makeup used on the models is not obvious. It is simply a tool used to enhance Kate Moss' eyes, or Lily Cole's lips. It is not intrinsically valuable. However, once in a while I see makeup used in a context which I believe constitutes as art. Such an example I recently stumbled across on the photographer John Rankin's website. (http://www.rankin.co.uk/portfolio/beauty) The degree of skill and thought involved in the conceptualisation of such a project is proof alone of make-up artistry as an art form. Ladies and Gentlemen! I give you example numero uno!

She knew she shouldn't have fallen asleep after drinking too much at that party...

If a crappy unmade bed can be art, surely we can at least place the above somewhere between Damien Hirst and Michaelangelo? Someone once told me that something can be considered to be art if it evokes a reaction. Well, I believe that the above could be considered to be living, breathing artwork.

Chanel's A/W 2010 makeup. I'm seeing a definate 60s vibe. Noice hat btw.

2.) This brings me to my second point. Like its more conventional brother, cosmetic illustration has great ties with self expression. The expressionist painters would use various hues to demonstrate internal emotion - Munch's The Scream contains strokes of red and brown that evoke the artist's panicked emotion. In the sameway, make-up allows the wearer to express themselves. Like how one would wear an Alexander McQueen handbag, or a Betsy Johnson Dress. Vivienne Westwood's punk clothing. Elizabeth Hurely's safety pin dress. The impact these had on popular culture was huge, but in many ways, so were Twiggy and Edie's use of eyeliner in the 1960s. This is not to mention the impact that prosthetic makeup has had on the film industry - Movies such as Frankenstien, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter could never have been made!

A life without Mrs Doubtfire...A harrowing notion


Not only does Make-up and its artistry allow for untold self expression, it brings happiness and pleasure to people. What is more, it allows us to effectively track and understand cultural changes in a way that would prove difficult through literary sources. Indeed, by looking at the cosmetics of an era and how they were used, we can discern what the conventional ideas of beauty were, trends, and technology. It is both an interesting and important part of not only our fashion history, but also our cultural history too.


Makeup, bringing untold happiness to Eddie Izzard and other drag queens the world over


Cleopatra...Queen of EYELINER

That is my argument darlings. I'm standing up for 'the shallow arts.' As for my course...

watch this space.

New Year or New Fear?

Good Morning and Happy New Year, my beautiful little sausages.

Yes, yes, I know what you are thinking, long time no blog! Well, you'll be right on that one but it just so happens that I got sidetracked by a wee holiday known as Christmas (my readership is so broad I tend not to assume that my subscribers are all of christian persuasion.) If Christmas is an alien concept to you then I'll chuck a few buzzwords your way to elucidate you on the subject: PRESENTS!!!!!!, eating, PRESENTS!!!!!!! makingmembersofyourfamilycryatthelunchtable, quality street, baby Jesus.

So with the formalities out of the way, let me move smoothly onto the subject of this article; New Year. Before the sharper knives of you point out, yes I know we've already had New Year. I was there. I had a party. It was fabulous. But I don't just wish to address the event itself, but the whole concept of new beginnings, the proverbial clean slate as it were.

The idea of New Year (henceforth abreviated to NY) as a time to be dreaded entered my sunny orbit recently when I was perousing Facebook and a friend (who shall remain nameless) joined a group which had been imaginatively named 'I HAAATE NEW YEAR! GRRR. OMFG!** LOLZ'
That the subject in question is over forty is neither here nor there, the fact is, it got me thinking. There are people for whom New Year is indicative of past failures, deaths, painful memories and that time you sent fifteen eyelashes to that guy in the office you liked and he didn't reply. Nightmare. By emphasising the new, we instinctively look back at the old, what we are leaving behind, possibly forever. The finality of this can sometimes feel a bit depressing (that's the last time I'll see GAGA live in concert, I'll never see my nan again... that kind of thing)

Well ducks, never fear I have come up with Chanello's guide to enjoying the prospect of NY! Follow these points to the letter and I guarantee that you will no longer dread the ushering in of 2010:

• "I'm alone on NY yet again. I hate being single, I have no-one to kiss at midnight and it just reminds me of all my past relationship failures." No. A relationship ended is not a relationship failed. Think of it as a just another case in point for how you are the best person you know. Use NY as a opportunity to celebrate your hatred of the opposite sex. Throw a party and invite ONLY the gender that you are not attracted to. Then challenge yourself to fancy one of them.


• "I hate making NYs resolutions. I always give up after January, I hate the pressure of feeling like a failure." The solution to this one is simple, yet effective. Don't make resolutions that you can't keep! Instead of 'In 2010 I will lose weight, get a boyfriend and pursue my dream career whilst having a child with a sperm donor and giving up chocolate' no NO NO! Think more in terms of: This year, I will buy at least one pair of shoes, I will sample more than one type of chocolate and learn to breathe more effectively. See? You're still progressing towards self betterment, but it's going to be less stressful and you won't fail! HURRAY!


• "I hate the beginning of a NY. It's always dark and miserable." This one is tricky, but with the right attitude adjustment you will feel better in no time at all! Make a list of all the reasons why you hate the sun: it gives you cancer! You have to get your flabby body out! it makes you sweat! Then all the reasons why you like the winter: Winter clothes are more chic! Pale is interesting! that's right, you're doing it! Snuggle up indoors and watch black and white movies - the people in those don't seem to mind that there's no colour in their lives do they? and neither do you! Who needs a holiday when you can sit by a log fire?

And with that my darlings I leave you for now. Have a happy and healthy 2010, and stop stressing yourself out! Don't think: This year will be the best year ever! Instead: If I make it to 2011, I'm a success!! See? You're already a winner just by breathing!

Love X X